{"id":6396,"date":"2022-01-03T16:29:30","date_gmt":"2022-01-03T16:29:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/photographybyjo.net\/?p=6396"},"modified":"2023-09-13T12:59:17","modified_gmt":"2023-09-13T12:59:17","slug":"what-to-do-after-you-get-engaged","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/photographybyjo.net\/what-to-do-after-you-get-engaged\/","title":{"rendered":"What to do after you get engaged"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They proposed. You said yes! You\u2019re looking down at your ring, maybe a little in shock. And it hits you. You have no idea what to do now that you\u2019re actually engaged. You probably have no experience planning a wedding, may not have been expecting the big question, and it\u2019s all a whirlwind. That\u2019s okay\u2013I\u2019ve got you. I\u2019ve done this before, and been to over 100 weddings. In this article, I\u2019m going to share what to do after you get engaged as well as how to build your relationship during this season of engagement as you plan for your marriage, not just your wedding day. Let\u2019s dive in!<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n<style>.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id_b001c4-f5 .kb-table-of-content-wrap{padding-top:var(--global-kb-spacing-sm, 1.5rem);padding-right:var(--global-kb-spacing-sm, 1.5rem);padding-bottom:var(--global-kb-spacing-sm, 1.5rem);padding-left:var(--global-kb-spacing-sm, 1.5rem);}.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id_b001c4-f5 .kb-table-of-contents-title-wrap{padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;}.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id_b001c4-f5 .kb-table-of-contents-title{font-weight:regular;font-style:normal;}.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id_b001c4-f5 .kb-table-of-content-wrap .kb-table-of-content-list{font-weight:regular;font-style:normal;margin-top:var(--global-kb-spacing-sm, 1.5rem);margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;}<\/style>\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/photographybyjo.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/alicia-nic-proposal-163-scaled-1.jpg\" alt=\"alicia-nic-proposal-163-scaled-1\" class=\"wp-image-6397\"\/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Things to do right after the proposal<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Experience all the joy<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You will only feel like this once in your life, so soak it all in! Maybe take a minute to write some things down, like what your partner said when they asked you. I know for me I hardly remember those details. Take some photos, FaceTime your mom. Get excited!! Stay off Pinterest for now and avoid the overwhelm. This is the time to revel in the joy. Someone wants to love you forever!<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Announce your engagement<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Call or visit your closest friends and family to announce your engagement! Once you\u2019ve told all your inner circle (and, they probably knew this was coming), make that ring selfie Facebook official! (I guess Instagram official is more accurate now, but I\u2019m stuck in 2010 lingo). If you had a <a href=\"https:\/\/photographybyjo.net\/proposal-photographer\/\">proposal photographer<\/a> (great job, fianc\u00e9!), you&#8217;ll likely get these photos back in a week or less for the announcement.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Go on a date<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes it\u2019s easy to jump right into telling everyone, wedding planning, asking your wedding party, and all the exciting things about getting married. Meanwhile, you neglect to spend good quality time alone, enjoying the engagement together. Keep up with regular date nights! Talk about the excitement, and openly communicate about your wants for the wedding throughout the engagement. It might be a good idea to have date nights where wedding planning is a banned topic. Planning has a tendency to take over your life and relationship for a while, so it\u2019s healthy to take a break.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have an engagement party<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some couples skip this formality, but I think it\u2019s such a fun one! Get your inner circle together and celebrate with an engagement party. It doesn\u2019t have to be anything fancy. You can get a large table at your favorite restaurant and toast to the happy news. You only do this once, so indulge yourself a bit.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Insure that ring!<\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some homeowners or renter\u2019s insurance cover valuable jewelry. Call your insurance company and see what they offer. You\u2019ll want your ring insured. In the first two years of marriage, my engagement ring broke at the band, on the prong, and lost a small stone. I was not rough on it and worked a desk job. Some jewelry stores offer warranties for this sort of thing, but it wouldn\u2019t cover loss or theft. You\u2019ll need to take it in to be cleaned and inspected every 6-12 months in order to keep the warranty active. Additional insurance for loss or theft is always a great idea! Remember that you want to get insurance for the value of the ring, not just what you paid. You might need to get it appraised, in case the value is well over what you paid.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">My top wedding planning tips for newly engaged couples<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Okay, before we dig in, I want you to keep these things in mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>First, no wedding is perfect.<\/strong> Seriously, all the money in the world can\u2019t buy you a perfect wedding day. Approach your wedding day with a plan A, plan B, and an open mind. Be flexible when changes arise. Years from now, your guests and friends won\u2019t recall the little details. Focus on the most important things to you, and release the stress of planning the perfect day. The perfect wedding is the one you enjoy. Most weddings run behind at some point or another, and there\u2019s always some family members that don\u2019t remember where to be for photos, and little things like that. Let it all go and let your vendors take care of those issues. Enjoy yourself! You can tell in the image, I promise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Second, make sure you plan some <a href=\"https:\/\/photographybyjo.net\/alone-time-on-your-wedding-day\/\">alone time together on your wedding<\/a> day.<\/strong> You are in front of people for most of the day, on a tight schedule, and in the spotlight. Set aside some time to spend with each other so you can talk together, look at each other, and appreciate the moment. This can be a first look, secluded dining table, last dance, or sunset walk. There\u2019s lots of creative ways to spend time together on your wedding day!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Lastly, be practical.<\/strong> This applies to the amount of planning you take on by yourselves, the schedule of the wedding day, the wedding budget, the vendors you\u2019re booking. At the end of the day, some wedding fantasies aren\u2019t realistic. Work with a planner to figure out what\u2019s feasible for you, and try not to overcommit yourself to too much work or expenses that aren\u2019t comfortable for you. Start your marriage out as stress-free as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How to start planning your wedding<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Okay, so how does a couple with no planning experience plan a party for 50, 100, 200 plus of their closest friends? Little by little, and with a lot of help! In the beginning, start thinking about who might be willing to help and how you can delegate some responsibilities. Decide on some bigger picture ideas before you get concerned with the little details. Everyone\u2019s first instinct is to start looking at <a href=\"https:\/\/photographybyjo.net\/breaking-the-mold-at-your-wedding-2\/\">Pinterest boards and Instagram hashtag feeds at dreamy wedding<\/a> photos. But a lot of those viral ideas are from expensive styled shoots and aren\u2019t easy to replicate. They can cause overwhelm. Ever heard the term you can\u2019t see the forest through the trees? This is a common issue in early wedding planning. Read on to avoid falling into that pattern.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Your first big wedding planning decisions to make<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Come up with a wedding budget.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Talking finances can be difficult and uncomfortable, but it\u2019s important to set and stick to a budget up front. Every wedding decision you make has financial implications, so you can\u2019t get started planning until you know the numbers! Who\u2019s paying? Is it parents, grandparents, just you two, a combination? Do you need to set up a savings plan for the next year or so? Or, are you comfortable going into debt for your wedding and honeymoon? (Not encouraging this, but I know some people do!) It\u2019s time to get on the same page about the investment you intend to make on your wedding. This is a great introduction to talking about joint finances too!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Decide on a general size and style for your wedding.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Do you want to get married in a ballroom with 250 people, or a historic inn with 40 guests? The size and venue options are somewhat related to your budget discussion. But you need to agree (or, maybe compromise) on what kind of wedding you want to have. This will help you start looking at venues and getting quotes from vendors. There\u2019s dozens of styles of wedding, and you\u2019re going to bring your own unique styles to the event too. Talk big ideas early on, so the details are easier to decide on!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Think about wedding insurance.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Did you know wedding insurance is a thing!? Special event insurance is becoming a more common investment. You might need to know some details before you can purchase insurance, so this step might come a few months after engagement. There\u2019s a few different types of insurance. Some offer coverage for cancellation, which includes reasons like illness, weather, deployment, or other uncontrollable reasons. The second type is liability. This would cover you if there was damage to the venue during your wedding, or someone was seriously injured during the event. Allstate has a great resource explaining <a href=\"https:\/\/www.allstate.com\/tr\/event-insurance\/does-event-insurance-cover-weddings.aspx\">types of wedding and special event insurance<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Discuss wedding dates and seasons.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Have a general idea of when you want to get married. I\u2019d suggest picking a month or range at the early stage of planning. You might want to stay flexible until you\u2019ve found a venue and know their available dates. Some dates are more popular than others and may be in high demand in your area. In general, spring and fall season are quite busy in the Mid-Atlantic, since the weather is so nice for outdoor ceremonies and portraits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Next, hire a wedding planner!<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>While many think this is optional, I consider it essential. Planning a wedding doesn\u2019t have to be stressful, and you don\u2019t have to start from scratch. Wedding planners can do this in their sleep. They know the ins and outs of the process, the local vendors, and the logistics of a smooth wedding day. Even for the most organized, type-A, likes to be in control couple\u2026 you can\u2019t do everything on your own!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Is it worth it to hire a wedding planner?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>There\u2019s no good wedding planner I know that isn\u2019t worth every penny. They make up their cost by saving you money and headache on helping you stay on budget, negotiating contracts, recognizing and educating you on unexpected costs before they come up, and taking care of the details so you don\u2019t have to be everything to everyone on your wedding day. Not to mention the hours and hours of planning time they save you! Worth. Every. Penny.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What does a wedding planner do?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>There are several different<a href=\"https:\/\/www.brides.com\/story\/wedding-planner-designer-coordinator-difference\"> types of wedding planning services<\/a>. You can hire a day-of coordinator to help with logistics for the event, a partial planning service, a full service wedding planner, and even a wedding designer to deliver your aesthetic vision. Full service wedding planners can offer help with every stage of the wedding process, from venue scouting to managing the experience on the day of the wedding. There\u2019s a long laundry list of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theknot.com\/content\/what-do-wedding-planners-do\">tasks that wedding planners can handle for you<\/a>. But that doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re handing over control! You still get to make all the important decisions on your wedding plans, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.weddingwire.com\/wedding-ideas\/wedding-planner-duties\">leave the execution up to the planner.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What does a wedding planner cost?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The cost of a wedding planner ranges quite widely based on what\u2019s included in your contract, when and where you\u2019re getting married, and the type of event you\u2019re planning. A small elopement with two vendors and a ballroom event with dozens of vendors and detailed tablescapes are going to be vastly different scopes of work. This is why you need to understand your overall wedding vision before contacting any vendors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Full service wedding planners cost about 12% to 18% of your overall wedding budget. Some wedding planners charge a flat rate package. In central Virginia and Augusta County area, you can find partial planning services starting around $1,000 and full service planning closer to $2,000 &#8211; $5,000. Just like my article on the <a href=\"https:\/\/photographybyjo.net\/how-much-does-a-wedding-photographer-cost-in-virginia\/\">cost of wedding photography<\/a>, costs for wedding planners vary outside this range. Experienced planners that offer a higher level customer experience will charge more. In general, you get what you pay for. But like I mentioned in the beginning, most of what you invest in a wedding planner will come back to you in some way or another. Whether it\u2019s sourcing materials at a better price, negotiating vendor contracts, or saving you hours of time or time off work\u2026 they are worth every penny!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">When to start planning your wedding<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Don\u2019t jump in right away. Give yourself some time to be excited together and enjoy this new stage of life. You will need to decide up front whether you\u2019d like to have a long or short engagement. If you think your wedding will be 12-18 months away, you can afford to wait a few weeks before talking about wedding planning. If you think a short engagement fits your plans better, maybe take a few days or a week before diving in. According to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.weddingwire.com\/wedding-ideas\/just-engaged-start-wedding-planning\">Wedding Wire<\/a>, 19% of couples plan their weddings in 6 months or less! If this is your plan, jump in as soon as you can, but definitely not the day of your proposal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Wedding planning timeline: When to book your wedding vendors<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>There are already dozens of wedding planning timelines and checklists out there. You can even order a planner specific to your wedding! I\u2019m going to cover the highlights for the major vendors here. As we roll into 2022 and 2023 wedding planning, vendors are more booked up than ever before, so it\u2019s important to book early. Now, that doesn\u2019t mean you need to rush any decisions! But if <a href=\"https:\/\/photographybyjo.net\/florals\/\">floral<\/a> design or photography or a live band is super important to you, find those things right away. It is never to early to inquire and start asking questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">When to book your wedding venue<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Besides your wedding planner, the venue is the first thing you\u2019ll want to secure. You can start looking at wedding and reception venues 12-18 months ahead of time. If you\u2019re on a shorter timeline, you\u2019ll want to get this secured right away. While new DJ\u2019s, Videographers, Bakers, etc crop up all the time, venues are a little more scarce and have to fit your specific wedding needs, like style and capacity size.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">When to book your wedding photographer and videographer<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Wedding photographers and <a href=\"https:\/\/photographybyjo.net\/what-you-need-to-know-about-working-with-both-a-photographer-and-a-videographer\/\">videographers<\/a> will typically allow you to book as far as 18 months out. As soon as you\u2019ve booked your venue, you\u2019ll want to start researching your photographer options. You might even save some money by booking at their current rates, before your wedding year!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">When to book your florist or floral designer<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>In 2021, we had a floral shortage and logistical issues with supply. So florists with inventory access were in super high demand! I don\u2019t think every year will bring these same challenges, but there are fewer quality florists than most vendors. I\u2019d say it\u2019s never too early to start looking into floral design. They can help guide you on what will be available in your season, which could impact your wedding vision early on. Book your florist shortly after your venue, about 12 months in advance if possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">When to book your wedding band or DJ<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re looking for live entertainment, you may want to reach out 8-10 months in advance. Skilled wedding bands are less prevalent than wedding DJ\u2019s and MC\u2019s. For DJ\u2019s, start researching and inquiring 6-8 months before your wedding day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">When to book your wedding officiant<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Start contacting wedding officiants 6-8 months in advance. If you are part of a church or having a religious ceremony, you may have a minister available in your religious organization. Non-religious officiants should be registered with the state where you are getting married. You can have a friend marry you in most states, but you\u2019ll need to check with the licensing requirements in your state and possibly county. These are details a planner can help you sort out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">When to book your caterer and bartenders<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Check with your venue right away about catering and bartending options. Some venues have in-house caterers, preferred vendors you have to use, or a short list of approved vendors that are familiar with their policies and site. If you\u2019re bringing in off-site catering and bar services, start looking 9-12 months before your wedding. Catering companies are among the vendors that typically only serve one wedding per date, so availability will get more limited the longer you wait.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">When to book your wedding hair and makeup artists<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019ll want to leave plenty of time for a hair and makeup trial, so start looking 8-10 months out! Pro tip: time your makeup trial with your engagement session date for the perfect, photo-ready look!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">When to buy your wedding attire<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>6-8 months in advance, you\u2019ll want to start trying on dresses. Picking out wedding attire is not as simple as buying formal outfits. You\u2019ll likely have multiple fittings to make sure your dress is altered perfectly to your shape and will be comfortable to wear all day. For the ladies, bridesmaids dresses can take a couple months to come in after you order them. If you\u2019re doing mismatched dresses, they need to be ordered around the same time so that the color all comes from the same dye lot. Otherwise, there may be color variance. For the men, give them several months to all go get measured to ensure a proper fit. Final fittings and measurements for all the wedding party should be in 4-6 weeks before the wedding, unless your attire provider says otherwise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">When to order your wedding cake<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Bakers for wedding cakes are able to take on multiple weddings in a day, so long as the delivery distance is feasible. You can be more flexible with your planning timeline for this vendor. Still, you want to make sure this vendor is secured 3-6 months before your wedding. If you have a very specific vision, dietary restrictions, or unique flavor request, reach out sooner to schedule a tasting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">When to book your wedding musicians<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Like live bands, skilled wedding musicians are more scarce than other vendors. Contact musicians 8-10 months before your wedding day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">When to book your rehearsal dinner<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>1-2 months ahead of your wedding, start looking for places to host a rehearsal dinner. Large restaurants can accommodate a request like this with just a few weeks heads up. If you\u2019re planning a catered dinner at a venue, you\u2019ll need to start looking sooner. Your wedding planner can help with this also!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Planning your wedding party<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Asking people to be part of your wedding is a huge honor! But it\u2019s also a lot of responsibility. Members of the wedding party have to buy expensive formalwear, take time off work for multiple wedding events, foot the bill for the bachelor and bachelorette party, incur travel expenses, write speeches, help make sure the wedding goes as planned, and generally be there for you on your wedding day. It\u2019s a large commitment! Start talking to your wedding party as far in advance as possible so they can plan accordingly. Make sure you are all open and honest about the financial and time commitments, so your wedding party members have enough time to plan for the cost, or decline your offer without leaving you high and dry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These people will be there to help you prepare for your wedding morning, in your wedding portraits forever, and will make a huge impact on how your day feels. Think about asking only people who are in your most inner circle, who you can see adding helpful and positive energy to the day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">More wedding planning guides<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Wedding planning has an endless list of subtopics. There\u2019s still your registry, d\u00e9cor and design, honeymoon, shower, and other details we haven\u2019t even touched on. Not to mention after the wedding! Change of address, filing your marriage certificate, changing your name, tax filing status, and more. For more checklists and resources on wedding planning, check out these articles:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.zola.com\/expert-advice\/checklist\/your-ultimate-wedding-planning-checklist\">Zola<\/a> <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.brides.com\/story\/brides-wedding-checklist-custom-wedding-to-do-list\">Brides<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theknot.com\/content\/12-month-wedding-planning-countdown\">The Knot<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>They proposed. You said yes! You\u2019re looking down at your ring, maybe a little in shock. And it hits you&#8230;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8291,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"%%title%% | How to plan a wedding 101 | PhotobyJo","_seopress_titles_desc":"In this article, I\u2019m going to share what to do after you get engaged and how to start planning a wedding. 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